7.06.09

Mick came to Reheboth this evening to bring a new team in. he walked me out as we were leaving to ask how reading the book he lent me, “A New Kind of Christian”, was coming. I told him I had finished it a week or so ago and that I was still raking through what it said. We talked about the Gospel, what it is and what it does to people and in people. We ran out of time because I had to walk back before it was too dark, so he said he’s stop by the house before he went back to Windhoek. We talked for over an hour. Every time I talk with him, my journal pages are just filled with questions.
What does it mean to walk in the Spirit? do I really believe that He is alive and living in me? I mean, do I believe that the very King of kings Himself is in me every moment? Do I actually have the audacity to believe that? Do I actually have the audacity to challenge that I believe it? How would my life be different if I did?
Also, what is the Kingdom? If it’s here, where is it? if not now, when? Jesus said it was at hand. What does that mean? How do we pull the Kingdom to earth? What role does the church play? Do we argue for truth? Ever? What does the Kingdom make of missions? Where do I fit into it all?
I’ve decided to challenge God. This takes a lot of courage for me. I’m asking God to prove to me that He is living in me. I mean actually in me. If there’s not more to this life than the civil war in my heart between the flesh and the “new creation” self then I give up.
But I think there is.
So, prove it to me, God. And thank You for letting me be honest with You.