Just a Peice of Glass.

Tonight on Nine North was the bi-semester mandatory floor meeting. It is a glorious thing. Every one of my thirty girls cram into the little lounge and eat junk food while I read lists of things they have to remember at them for about half and hour. Oh, and the best part? I get to fine them $5 if they're late and $10 if they're a no-show (so, I've only actually followed through with fining two girls so far this entire year, but everyone has such creative excuses, that after their stories I almost forget that I was asking them for money).

Tonight was no exception. We crammed, we ate, and I yelled and fined. It was wonderful.

We hit a particularly serious note at the end, though. I was talking about eating disorders on campus and how we need to be aware of ourselves and of other around us...yadda yadda...we've all heard this over and over again. But tonight I felt the Spirit speak to the souls of the girls on the floor in front of me.

"We need to speak highly about our bodies, girls," I heard myself say. "Because it's not that you eat too much or too little or wear clothes that are too tight or too little. It's that you don't know that God loves your body."

Woah. That's a serious statement. Do I mean it? Well, yes, I guess I do.

I think I've got something wrong most of my life. In between the purity talks and modesty lectures, I missed something vital. I always thought that I was to dress modestly so that I wouldn't cause men around me to lust. Okay, follow this argument through with me: If I dress modestly, then men won't lust. If I dress immodestly, men will lust. Therefore (if that is true), when men lust, I have been bad. ... Really? Is this what we're teaching our girls? I don't know. I just know it's something I learned and am unlearning.

I encouraged my girls tonight to look in the mirror and let God love what He sees. And then to join Him. I think I've viewed it this way: as long as I can ignore what I see in the mirror, I'll learn to love my body the way God wants me to, I'll learn to see myself the way He sees me. Really? What is He seeing if He's ignoring the physical body He created to house your soul? What kind of love says, "I love you when I have my eyes closed"? That's rubbish, if you ask me (you didn't. But it's my blog. I get to answer all kinds of rhetorical questions you didn't ask. :)).

The following is a song you will hear playing on my blog. It's called "Piece of Glass" by Cademon's Call. Love it. Enjoy.

Can’t believe that I did it again
Wake me up from this nightmare
Cause this monster is wasting me away and taking my days

Every day I live a bit less; one night leads to another
Even if I went back would they recognize me or criticize me

Who are you that lies when you stare in my face
Telling me that I’m just a trace of the person I once was
Cause I just can't tell if you're telling the truth or a lie
On you I just can't rely
After all you're just a piece of glass

Still I control this nightmare, when I call it answers
But I can't tell it when to come, or when to stay

Who are you that lies when you stare in my face
Telling me that I’m just a trace of the person I once was
Cause I just can't tell if you're telling the truth or a lie
On you I just can't rely
After all you're just a piece of glass

Don’t talk, listen
Hold me tighter
Stay with me just for a while
Until the sun shines stay with me
Just give me one more day

Who are you that lies when you stare in my face
Telling me that I’m just a trace of the person I once was
Cause we're not the same, you're just a picture of me
You’re gone as soon as I leave; you've lived my life for me
And you're no more than a piece of glass
You're no more than just a piece of glass