Grace upon Grace.

Matthew 17:22-23 :: "Now while they were staying in Galilee, Jesus said to them, 'The Son of Man is about to be betrayed into the hands of men, and they will kill him, and the third day He will be raised up.' And they were exceedingly sorrowful."

I've been reading through Matthew again. It's rich, you know? There's story after story after story about Jesus healing the sick and casting out demons. Now, when we hear those words we have already decided what we think about them. They're cool tricks, right? Or we're convinced they're attractive, something like a circus act at which we only wish we could have been present. I mean, if we were, we would really believe.

All these cases of sickness and healing, possession and exorcism come to a climax. The disciples are at the height of their ministry internship and are more convinced than ever of who Jesus is. And then He drops this on them.

"The Son of Man is about to be betrayed into the hands of men." The Son of God who became also the Son of Man to save men is about to be placed into the hands of the very men He came to save. He is about to entrust Himself to the despicable handling of their evil hearts. He is about to submit Himself in the vulnerable position of placing Himself in their hands bent on wickedness. "And they will kill Him."

Yet there is hope…

"and on the third day He will be raised up." The Son of Man will be recognized by His heavenly Father, and, as the Son of God, He will breathe new breath in His lungs, the blood will pump through His veins again, He will salivate, hunger, walk, blink, and touch once more. Yes. There is hope.

"And [the disciples] were exceedingly sorrowful." Of course! They had no reason to rejoice, no reason to hold to hope because Jesus has just confronted them about their unbelief! They don't' believe! They want to believe that Jesus will continue in His tricks, but they cannot conceive that even He would be able to pull this one off. They were sorrowful because they heard the part about His death, but the part about life seemed to be in a different language. They cannot wrap their minds around this one.

Neither can I.

Though my doubt is different. I don't grieve. I know the hope and I have allowed it to placate me. This hope I bear is bland. And it makes me wonder if it is hope at all.

See, I read this about the death and resurrection without any wonder. I read it and I know it is true. I tuck it away in my theological self and I go about my day unmoved. This death-life act doesn't dazzle me anymore….

And for this too He died.

I confess my lack of hunger and astonishment over the Gospel. And I probably don't really mean it anyway.

And for this too He died.

There is grace upon grace upon grace upon grace.

Upon grace upon grace.

Many times I do not believe it.

And for this too He dies.

There is grace.

Upon grace.

Upon grace.