My Post-Preaching Prayer.

I've been having a lot of post-sermon thoughts. I want to write them here, but feel I need to preface it by saying this… I'm so thankful for 1) being called to the ministry of preaching, 2) all the wonderful people who support and love me, and 3) the privilege of preaching at Founder's Week. I write these thoughts with these gratitudes deeply in mind.

I've been "encouraged" all week by comments like, "Wow, you were so good at Founder's Week" or "Amy, you were awesome" or "When do you preach next? I totally want to hear you again." How nice. I've been stopped multiple times in the cafeteria, people introducing themselves and saying how great the sermon was. One guy even stopped me as I got off the treadmill to tell me how attractive I was when I preached, "With great respect, of course" he concluded. Well, shucks. I'm flattered.

The intentions behind the words I assume to be pure.

But I'm fear their flattery.

There was no power in me. Nothing in me that was worth anything. So when people tell me how great I was, it's awkward. I smile quaintly and say "thank you for saying that…" But I say that because I don't know what else to say. Part of me is grateful, but part of me is bitter, too. I'm not perfect, you see. And all the girls that want to ask for advice because they heard me preach once is overwhelming. With each compliment I feel myself being raised up onto a pedestal that will bring about a great crash as soon as I am simply myself. I never claimed to be perfect.

Many have commented on how "this is it!" That this is the moment I can begin to "climb the ladder" and "make a name for myself" in the greater preaching arena. But should be even be talking in these terms when it comes to the Church, the Word, and the Gospel? How self-pormoting that would be, and the Gospel is a tale of something quite the opposite.

I mean, isn't this exactly what the pagans said to Paul in Athens? When he told them about the "unknown god" that their idol represented, they listened and we're told they react by saying, "We would like to hear you again on this issue…" They want to hear again, not out of belief, but out of entertainment! The people of Athens were known for their philosophical ideologies, for always seeking out the most modern ways of thinking, the most novel thoughts. Isn't this how we're conversing about preaching? "Wow, I like your style. I'd like to hear you again". [and the non-verbals…] "what you said was cool and really entertaining. When you do another show, let me know."

We're thinking on this idea of preaching all wrong, I believe. Nyquist, who I respect and admire and who I consider it an honor and privilege to follow, even said it at Founder's Week about Moody Publishers. "We're no longer looking for readers for our authors, but authors for our readers…" Really? Doesn't Scripture warn us about this? 2 Timothy 4:3, "For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear." Yikes...

I do not write to simply point the finger. Well, maybe I do. I guess if the finger is pointing out sin, then I'm happy to oblige. But I point it out in myself, too. See my greatest fear is that I love it all. I love being told that I'm great and gifted and attractive. I love feeling that people need me or that God has gifted me more than others. And it's DISGUSTING! I hate this sin within myself. I fear I will loose a love for the offensive Gospel we preach and trade it for a love of being one of those Christian women with big hair and flawless skin published largely on the cover of a new book.

I fear my own flesh. So, if you're really wanting to support me, if you're really wanting to encourage me, will you pray with me? Pray that those who love the truth will be drawn to the Author and the Word Himself, and that those who are only seeking to hear what their itching ears want to hear will despise what I have to say. I pray to be one of those preachers pagans will not put up with. I pray to be a preacher of sound doctrine. I pray that I will hate what is evil, cling to what is good.

I can't think of any other prayer right now.