Iced Tea with Lime in my Cup.

Today was spend in the mountains in the woods. Seriously? Ahh… yes, this is my life.

Today my friends Amy, Hannah, Jordan and I hiked a trail that led to an old and overgrown railroad track. The track as our path, we went through rock tunnels and over fallen trunks. The entire Washingtonian path (I learned today that's what they call themselves here) was covered in moss and sprinkled with sunshine (yes, I wrote it that way on purpose. It was rather ideal.).

We reached one point where everyone was ahead of me on the path and I was caught by the scene for just a moment. The river was rushing over the sones just beneath the cliff at my feet. And I thought, "That's me. Right now, that's me." See, everything in my life feels to be rushing on and moving quickly. Time seems to be the tide, pulling me on and over and past. The temporal current is sweeping quickly and dragging me under its power.

I'm in this place in life right now where I'm confused by my role. And right now, with these mountains in the distance and iced tea with lime in my cup, I'm mostly concerned about what God is going to do with this season of life. You know, these bizarre years of transition. Most of the time, I feel old. But that's not hard when you are still living on a floor with 18 year olds and swimming in cesspool of 20 year old wisdom. Then I visited Gordon Conwell and I felt so, so young. It was strange, I haven't felt so overwhelmingly immature in a long time. Then I visited Angela who is a few years older than me and so, so much wiser. Now, I'm in Seattle with two girls from my floor. I'm just… well, confused.

I don't know what it looks like to grow up but still be in the dorm. I don't know how to mature when I still have six weeks of dorm living. I don't know how to be an adult when I'll just be leaving the dorms after living there for the past four years.

I guess, I just don't know. I feel pulled and I'm not sure what to do about it.

“Happy is a man who finds wisdom and who acquires understanding… She is more precious than jewels; nothing you desire compares with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left, riches and honor” (Proverbs 3:13, 15-16).

You know, I want wisdom. But how do you get it? James said to ask for it and not doubt. Seems easy. Turns out it's really hard.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. For by Wisdom your days will be many, and years will be added to your life” (Proverbs 9:10-11).

I want years added, you know? I want the wisdom of a 50 year old but I still want my 21 year old self. I guess, what I'm wanting just isn't plausible? Hmmmm…. I suppose, me and my iced tea with lime will look at these mountains and think on that.