6.13.09

Something of rhythm like drums and the beat of a dance in southern Africa. something of this sunrise on the mountain of faithfulness and consistency. I’m rebuilding what I know of God, this time without a box of orthodoxy. “The whole earth is full of Your glory.” Yes, this sunrise. Yes, the trees. Yes, these people with their accents, their music. In the rocks, the rooster’s crow, the breakfast and coffee waiting at the campsite at the foot of the mountain.
Make me softer every day, Abba. Be busy in me. thank You for working in me. here – with no stained glass or offeratory plates to be passed. Just the sun, now up, beautiful. I’m afraid of what being softer will look like, that I’ll be deceived or loose discipline. I’m afraid of becoming a spiritists or animist in the process of this worship outside. I’m scared I’ll go too far.
But go I must. Because that is where You’re taking me and I must walk beside You.

We got in groups of 5 today, with all people we didn’t know, from the camp group. We all shared “our story”…for three hours. What a delight to hear the Lord’s work in other’s lives. Their stories are full of Your goodness.
I shared my “typical testimony”and some of these thoughts I have been having recently. Ruan, a 27 year-old man in the group, challenged me. he asked if it was all as exciting as I was making it sound or if I ever grew discouraged at the slow process of the journey; if I was as confident in God’s direction as I made it seem, or if I didn’t know where I was or where God was leading me. I said yes.
We went hiking for 3 plus hours up the mountain, along the cliff face and through the dry river bed. His glory is sisplayed through all the universe – in every tree and intricate rock face, I see Him. Is that freedom in worship? Or animism? I can’t tell. So help me trust.
“I would have lost heart if I had not believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord” Psalm 27:13-14