Feeling Filled.

This morning I am waking up in a cute little apartment in down town Chicago. It's quiet, except for the El Train which rushes by every three minutes to pick up dazed passengers on their way to work. The clock is ticking, my girlfriends are sleeping; it's quiet and serene. The perfect morning for some writing ...

I'm visiting friends in Chicago this weekend before I head to a wedding in Indianapolis. The anticipation of this time here in the city has been full of longing and desire and loneliness. See, in Iowa City, I don't have much "feeding fellowship". By that I mean there's not a lot of people who I give to that give me back in abundance. Don't get me wrong, there are some (and if you're reading this post now, you're probably one of the few. Seriously.). But nothing beats being here in the city with those who have, well, grown up with me, have grown me up and who I plan to keep growing with for a long time.

I got in Thursday night and immediately was met by a friend from Nine North. We walked and talked, I fought with the parking guy, I lost my my fight with the parking guy, I paid the parking guy $10, and we walked and talked some more. Following, I ate dinner with some of the loveliest people a girl could hope to know. Several RAs from last year and Steph, our supervisor, ate "family dinner" together in the lounge of my dorm building. It was a simple picnic dinner, but the conversation was rich and satisfying.

Thursday night, Laura (last year RA) and Steph and I walked down to the beach and talked about nothing and culture and modesty and boy issues and everything as we got eaten by the mosquito's. It was sweet and filling.

Yesterday morning, I walked around the city thinking deeply about what we had talked about on the beach. Coming to no conclusion, I called my sister, Bethany, and we talked things through until I met another friend from Nine North for brunch where we talked about boy issues and the floor and Moody and post-graduation fright. After brunch I went and saw my dearest friend, Kate, and sat with her while she ate her lunch. This seems mundane, watching someone eat lunch I mean, but see, Kate's engaged to one of my other dearest friends, Mat. And well, I couldn't be happier for them. So seeing her whole and happy was not only encouraging, but filling.

When we parted ways and as I was walking to my car, I ran into Dan, my Greek tutor from Moody. Wow. I've missed him. He's awkward and funny and innocent and wonderful. It was a well appointed conversation about insecurity and idols of our hearts. We talked for half of an hour before I said goodbye and got into my car.

I drove to Jamie's house - another dearest friend in my life who is also recently engaged. So I sat on her couch, and listened as she spilled over her wedding plans, life hopes, nerves, and everything in between. We drank good coffee and laughed with remembering and wishing.

Finally, pulling myself away from her, I went to dinner with Steph and Laura and Sarah (another RA) and Amanda (a sweet friend on Nine North) and Steph's parents. Though I tried to get Steph's dad to tell me horrifying stories of Steph's childhood, I learned that Steph was an ideal child. How boring and lame! I wanted dirt, people!

And then, finally, last night I came to Kate's little and adorable apartment where she lives with another sweet friend, Maggie. Kate and Mat and I went on a walk, made fruit smoothies, and talked late into the night. This morning we have plans for breakfast before I'm off to the wedding, but before we get to that, I just want to say something ...

You really love me, don't You? Jesus, You have planned this whole trip out. You have seen in from the beginning and You knew my deep desire and need for community and here, You've met that need in these wonderful people. Why? Why do You love me the way that You do? Why do you keep trying to show me it over and over and over again? Why can't I escape it? And why do I try? Thank You, my Yellow Bird. Thank You. I love You, too.