One of Those Moments

There are few moments in life that get me this way …

There’ve been jr. high slumber parties with friends who I’ve sworn I’ll be bff’s forever with. There’ve been high school late night Village Inn dates with people that could make laugh so hard I’ve peed my pants. There’ve been long walks along the lake front looking at the city skyline in the fall with those I promised myself I would never live without. In all of those moments, there came a point where the clock became still and I realized how significant it was to me. At that moment, a warm feeling of security and love rushes through my senses.

Today had one of those moments.

When I woke up this morning there was a phone message waiting for me from my girl Katelynn. As soon as I listened to it, I knew her “exciting news”. Even when I called her back, and when she finally answered after my seventh message on her machine, all she would say is, “Amy, you know what my news is.” “I know,” I responded. “I just want to hear you say it.”

“Fine. T asked me to marry him last night.”

I knew it.

After screaming for a few seconds and jumping up and down, I got all the details and told her how happy I was for her. Eventually, she had to go back to work and I was left on the deck in my quiet time spot with my coffee cup filled, my phone in hand, and my Jesus.

Through thick tears and hot breath I told Jesus how happy I was. Over and over again, I told Him how excited I was for Katelynn and Mat and I prayed for them and their life together and this season of preparation. And then I just cried. For a long time.

See, I’m at this place right now where I don’t know what to do. I need my people. And I feel alone. I read this morning about how when Moses was told to sit at the top of a hill and watch Joshua defeat the Amalakites, keeping his arms raised high so that they would win. Whenever his arms were lowered, they began to loose. Whenever they stayed up, they would win. Well, eventually even Moses’ arms get tired. So two men, Aaron his brother and Hur got him a big rock, sat him down on it and held his arms up for him.

And that’s the community I’m needing right now. There’s a lot of people depending on me, at least I’d like to think life is going that way right now. It feels that way, at least. But I really need people to come around me right now and hold up my arms because, well, they’re really tired, and this hilltop is kinda getting lonely.

This was never meant to become a Amy-complains-about-how-lonely-she-is-right-after-her-best-friends-get-engaged post. I’m just saying I need some community, and I’m trusting God to give it to me. Where will it come from? Beats me. But I bet you’re a part of it. At least I hope so.