Abundant.

Life is sometimes bizarre, you know? I've been waiting for this season of life… the time when I was "finally" done with school, when I could cook my own food and wear leggings; the season of living in an apartment like a big girl and making my own schedule. I was even looking forward to working a job and making a budget, even. I wasn't expecting life to be ideal. Honestly, I wasn't asking for anything grand. It's just that I was hoping for some rest.

But then life isn't like that, is it.

Instead of "finally" being done with school, I'm aching for classes; missing the intellectual stimulation and the challenge to think like a Christian in the context of other believers with the same ambition. Instead of cooking my own food (though, as you may have seen, sometimes that does happen) I mostly eat cold cereal and hot dogs or mac and cheese from a box. I live in an apartment in a great neighborhood, but I'm sharing it with the father of the children I'm nannying for (he uses the "office"… meaning, the living room IS his office… meaning, I live surrounded by boxes and computers and shelves and file units and grime that are not my own). I sleep on a pull-out sofa and can't go "home" till he's done working. Instead of making my own schedule I just work. I nanny about 10 hours a day. Sometimes 12. I get up at 4:30am and go to bed at 9pm. I drive kids around the city, get lost often; I play various games and have various wars. And there's no reason for me to make a budget…I get a paycheck, I buy groceries, and the rest goes into my grad school account. Sigh…

In case you couldn't tell, this season of life has been a disappointment to me. Initially, at least, I'm frustrated by what is when I hold it up to what I thought it would be. I've had a few morning of "chatting" with God about it. You know, I asked Him for it. And He could do it for me. But He hasn't. I feel as if I'm getting the leftover portions of His blessings and the remnants of his goodness.

But Psalm 65 tells me otherwise:
9You visit the earth and water it;
you greatly enrich it;
the river of God is full of water;
you provide their grain,
for so you have prepared it.
10You water its furrows abundantly,
settling its ridges,
softening it with showers,
and blessing its growth.
11You crown the year with your bounty;
your wagon tracks overflow with abundance.
12 The pastures of the wilderness overflow,
the hills gird themselves with joy,
13 the meadows clothe themselves with flocks,
the valleys deck themselves with grain,
they shout and sing together for joy.

When our God visits the earth He "greatly enriche[es] it". The River of God is fullof water. He waters its furrows abundantly. Words like "overflow" and abundance" are in His vocabulary toward His people. He doesn't have an inventory that, once empty, He has to dig through last season's wares to find us something that will be adequate at best. He doesn't settle for "it'll do". He is abundant towards us.

Though right now my daily life isn't what I had hoped or anticipated, our God remains abundant. There is nothing He will not do, no extent too far, when it comes to dealing with His children.

I'm going home this weekend. I can't wait to sit with my dad. For my mom to sneak cash into my backpack. For my parents to make me my favorite meals. For them to buy me groceries just because they want to bless me. "If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!" (Matthew 7:11)

Our God is abundant. Towards me. Towards you. Always.