Twenty Twelve.

A new year is here! Can you believe it? Well, by now you probably can. I mean, it’s day two into the new year already. Still … I’m excited.

There’s something about a new year. It’s like a new journal and January first is like putting pen to the first blank page; it’s like an empty canvas and a fresh set of brushes. And this year in particular, the last calendar page turned with some oomph. 2011 was full – full of good and hard and weight and waiting and change and growth and goodbyes and hellos. I’m glad to see it go because I’m hoping the whirlwind is coming to an end. But I’m so glad it was mine for the 365 days it lasted.

So.

Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?

The year rang in with some much needed Jesus time in which I was pretty mad at God and, in time, He reminded me He’s a healing God.

February came with Founder’s Week and the humbling reality that is preaching. There, in that pulpit, I found myself to be fully myself and I began to take delight in Him once again as I started thinking hard on the thing we call preaching.

In March I first stepped foot on Gordon-Conwell turf and fell in love. I wanted nothing more than to get there as fast as I could, but I still heard the Lord saying “wait” which raised many questions about what the year would hold.

April brought busy days and that little blasted tumor. In time it brought new rest, new relief, and new hope in our sweet Jesus.

May was a series of goodbyes – goodbye Moody, goodbye nine north, goodbye dear professor-friends, goodbye days passed as a student. Hello scary independence, hello little Chicago apartment, hello nanny job that simply didn’t fit, hello growing up.

In June I learned to wait on Jesus and cooked my first real meal. Yes, seriously.

July was more nannying and discovering that I should never bear children and the disappointment with life of a Jr. High girl who didn’t get asked to the dance.

And then in August everything changed. Everything. God reminded me that He is good and sent me on a little East Coast adventure. Goodbye Chicago, hello Gordon Conwell.

September was full of firsts. Wonderful firsts. Sweet firsts. And so began the infatuation stage of my relationship with Gordon Conwell.

I grew up some more in October and lived in the bliss of this delightful calling that is seminary.

In November my mama and sista came and I made one killer bucket list.

And December came and went far too quickly. I saw some lovely people, enjoyed the Christmas cheer and was my silly self with my nutty siblings.

And here we are in 2012! There’s so much to be grateful for and so much to anticipate. I’m not the New Year’s resolution type, but I do make space to be intentional with the fresh start.

This year, my word is “expectant”. I’m choosing to be expectant of the Lord. That in every dark or happy or hard or blissful moment that He will be there. I’m choosing to expect Him.

In everything. Everywhere. All the time.

Expectant.